


I've Seen You Naked

by JannaEnd



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, Denial of Feelings, Embarrassment, Levi and Erwin and their beautiful friendship, Multi, Nothing serious, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pining!Levi, They're Hopeless, Truth or Dare, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-05 16:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5383109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JannaEnd/pseuds/JannaEnd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi doesn't know how to handle the fact that he's seen one of his classmates naked.</p><p>"Well, that’s the moment when my brain decides to work again properly, and I realize a few things.<br/>First, there’s someone else in the room. Secondly, he’s totally naked. Finally, I think I’ve just checked him out.<br/>Fucking fantastic."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Seeing

**Author's Note:**

> For the first time in history I created something that's longer than one chapter. I'm progressing! :D  
> It's a light little story again without deep thoughts, just something to cheer you up. So have a good time!
> 
> If you find any mistakes, please let me know.

My breathing is heavy and my muscles are burning. I can feel a drop of sweat streaming down on my back. Under other circumstances I would find that disgusting but right now my brain is as empty as my uncle’s wallet at the end of the month. Even though it’s already late autumn the air is surprisingly mild and I’m warm. My throat is dry, my black locks fall into my eyes. Just one more step. And the next one. I’m tired, I can’t continue. But like hell I’m giving up here, so I keep moving. The right leg, then the left, right, left, right, left and so on. Faster and faster.

 It might sound stupid, but I love this feeling. It’s like I’m totally free, like flying without wings. There’s no stress, no expectations, no responsibilities. Nothing but the path before me.

I began to run in 6th grade and since then I’m addicted to it. If our school didn’t have a soccer pitch with running tracks around it, I don’t think I would’ve made it to last year. Running is the best sport for me. It can be done anywhere and anytime, doesn’t require special equipment just a pair of shoes, and it’s not a team sport so I don’t have to adjust to others. But despite all of my enthusiasm I’ve never taken part in competitions. If I did, it would turn into a ‘must be done’ thing and that would kill the meaning of it. No, it’s just a hobby. I usually do it three times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less. But one thing is sure: Friday afternoon after the soccer training I run. Just like today.

I feel like doing it forever and a day but I’m only human, eventually I reach my limits. The sun is setting slowly and the sports hall of the school, where the changing rooms are, will be closed at 5:30, so I have to go slowly anyway. After walking a few more laps I head towards the building. My breathing is quite even now and as the soft wind gets in contact with my sweaty skin (ugh) I can’t fight back a shiver. A hot shower will be amazing.

The changing room is totally empty, the members of the soccer team have already left. Perfect. Nobody could tell but I’m actually pretty bashful. It’s not like I have a problem with my body, I just don’t feel comfortable if I’m not fully dressed when there are other people around me. Yeah, P.E. lessons aren’t my favourites. But now I have the whole room for myself so there’s no problem. I take out my bag from a locker and get rid of my clothes. While I put a towel around my waist I sing a song in mind, something I listened to during running. Finally with bottles of shampoo and shower gel in my hand I go to the door which leads to the showers and open it.

Dark brown, almost black hair. Huge, green eyes, there’s a scar under the left one. Slightly parted, full lips. Confused expression. A not too muscular but fit body and long legs. Caramel coloured skin, bruises here and there. And a big di-

Well, that’s the moment when my brain decides to work again properly, and I realize a few things.

First, there’s someone else in the room. Secondly, he’s totally naked. Finally, I think I’ve just checked him out.

Fucking fantastic.

I turn my head to the side and clear my throat awkwardly. Thanks to an incredible amount of self-control I don’t blush, but I’m embarrassed like never before. And not just because I’ve stared at a naked guy for god knows how long, but also because I myself have only a towel on. The ground could do me a favour and swallow me, but it doesn’t seem to happen anytime soon. Water keeps dripping from a tap, and our breathing sounds annoyingly loud.

Seconds pass and nothing happens, so I take a couple of hesitant steps towards a shower. I sense the other boy moving too – I don’t dare to look even at his general direction – and then he walks past me and out of the room. I let out a long sigh, hang my towel up on a rail and step into a cabin.

As the warm water begins to flow down on my skin I immediately relax. Okay Levi, think rational. Nothing serious happened, it’s not the first and (let’s hope) the last time I saw another boy without clothes. And it’s not like I have to meet him ever again. I mean he must be my schoolmate so I’m probably going to see him but from afar and not on a daily basis.

“He was pretty familiar though” I think as I pour some shampoo in my hand. Like when someone gets a completely different haircut and you know who they are but they still look strange. Why do I feel that I actually see him often? But then why didn’t I recognise him immediately? I try to remember and figure out the boy’s identity, because now I’m sure I know him.

And then it hits me like a sack of potatoes. I stop in mid-movement, my fingers laced in my hair, eyes probably as big as a pair of saucers.

Was it Eren Jaeger, my fucking _classmate_?

I only get out of this state of shock when shampoo drips into one of my eyes. I curse loudly and open the water again. But holy shit. How can I be such an asshole that I don’t even recognize someone I meet every day? Wow, I almost feel guilty. Emphasis is on almost. Well, it’s not entirely my fault after all. Yes, his hair was darker than usual because it was still wet. And he always wears those big ass glasses which went out of fashion 50 years ago and make his eyes look a lot smaller. And who would’ve thought he hides a body like that under those baggy and worn-out clothes? Yep, it’s no wonder I didn’t know who he is. He’s a bit strange person, always seems to be reluctant and unmotivated or sad and day-dreaming. He doesn’t really have friends in the school but does have a big mouth so he gets beaten up on every other day.

In my little circle of friends I’m famous for taking showers as quickly as possible. However, it’s Friday late afternoon and a lot of things happened in the past ten minutes and these facts make me uncharacteristically clumsy. I space out and burn my skin with the hot water while I wash off the foam, then almost fall on my ass when I step out of the cabin. The bottles slip out of my hands like ten times. I nearly drop my towel to the wet floor while drying myself. The more of these stupid things occur, the more irritated I become. And people, including me, tend to fuck up things when they’re irritated, so it’s an endless loop. When I get back to the changing room I’m ready to murder someone with my slippers.

I pull out my bag from the locker again and throw it to the bench with a little bit more force than needed. Okay, deep sigh, that’s it, now I’m calmer. Let’s change. Only in this second I notice that Eren isn’t here. Funny, I don’t think of him, yet he’s on my mind. Yeah, I have to admit that. Sue me, but I don’t see my classmates naked every day so of course it shocks me when I do. Whatever. In the belief that I’m alone I begin to get dressed.

It turns out that I was wrong. Eren walks out from the toilet when I’m busy putting socks on my feet. We both freeze and just stare at each other for a few seconds. At least he wears boxers now. But only those, which is weird because my shower took at least 15 minutes and it’s more than enough to get fully dressed if you ask me. However, I don’t think about it too long because the fact that I as well only have boxers (and a black sock on my left foot) on makes me embarrassed in no time. Eventually Eren looks away.

“I… uh… just wait for my clothes to dry” he says and makes a vague gesture towards the radiator. I notice only now the t-shirt and jeans on it and the bag next to it. Judging by how observant I am today, my chances to survive in the wild would be pretty low.

“Okay” thank god my voice is as calm as ever. I pay all my attention to the other pair of my sock. Well, that’s what I tell myself, but it can’t be true because I see how insecure Eren’s steps are as he goes to the other end of the bench to sit down. His eyesight must be really bad.

The whole situation is just so goddamn awkward. I try to get dressed as fast as possible without making the impression that I actually run away. It’s hard to admit but I keep glancing at Eren. He must feel uncomfortable too. He either picks his nails or the scar on his cheek which I noticed earlier. It seems to be kind of deep and bleeds slightly.  Did he get into a fight again? That would explain the bruises any why he has to dry his clothes.

It’s not like I care, really.

“Got beaten again?” the words slip out of my mouth when I think I can’t bear the silence anymore. Although it just makes everything worse because I’m totally aware of my lack of communication skills, and the silence stays because Eren doesn’t answer. I can feel his stare on my back though. It’s probably full of hatred but I don’t turn around to check it just pretend to be extremely occupied with folding my towel. It was a dead-born idea.

As I pack my things in my bag my hand bumps into something plastic. It’s my little white first-aid kit. I look at Eren for a split second and make another decision, hopefully better than the last one.

“Hey.”

Eren looks at me, at the small box I attempt to give him, and then back at me confused.

“Do something with your face.”

He takes it slowly like he would be afraid I’m joking, but when he sees I don’t have such motives he mutters a quiet ‘thank you’. Somehow it calms me down, the awkwardness seems to disappear from the air. Daily good deed accomplished. I continue to organize the stuff in my bag, and then put on my shoes. When I reach out for my jacket Eren clears his throat to get my attention. He hands me the first-aid kit but I don’t take it back because he hasn’t done anything with the scar. There’s only a single plaster in his other hand.

“Don’t you want to disinfect it?”

The brunet opens his mouth but says nothing in the end. I don’t understand him. But I also don’t understand myself as I grab the small box from his hand and sit down next to him. He stares surprised at me pouring some disinfectant on a cotton pad. Then without any warning I put my hand on his face to turn his head in the right angle and wipe his scar. His cheek turns hot under my palm, but I try to ignore the sensation. After cleaning the wound I also stick the plaster over it. And then I make the biggest fucking mistake of the day: I look into Eren’s eyes.

I thought they’re green but I was wrong. Partially at least. The right one and the half of the left is indeed a unique shade of sea-green, but the inner half of his left iris is amber coloured. I know this kind of thing exists, but this is the first time I see it in real life. Well, this statement can’t be true because this boy has been my classmate for years. Anyway, his eyes are strange and breath-taking at the same time. I can’t bring myself to look away even though there’s a little voice in the back of my mind telling me I act weird.

In the end Eren is the one who wakes me from this state. He stands up suddenly and walks to the radiator to check his clothes. Only now I remember he’s still in boxers and embarrassment washes over me again. I stand up too, put away the first-aid kit and take on my jacket. At the door of the changing room I turn back for a second. Eren still has his back on me, but I can see that the tip of his ears and his nape is red.

“See you later” I say before I step out of the room.


	2. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has to face his biggest enemies: his friends and his own thoughts and feelings.
> 
> "For a short time we listen to some shitty pop song but then Erwin reaches out and turns down the volume.  
> “Okay, I’m just asking it” he says and looks at me for a spilt second again. “What’s going on between you and Eren?”  
> “Wha-”  
> “Erwin!” Hange leans forward between our seats. “I wanted to blackmail him with this in the perfect moment! You ruined my plans!” "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, the next chapter. Practically it's just a 'bridge' and nothing really happens, but it's important (because I said so...)  
> I hope you'll like it! :)

The weekend goes quickly and quite uneventful. On Saturday I help mom buy groceries then in the afternoon I meet one of my friends, Erwin. We just walk around in the park and talk about nothing. I don’t say a word about Eren and the things that happened in the changing room. On Sunday I clean my room and do some homework.

Monday comes and I’m already standing in front of the door of the class when memories of Friday fill my mind. Why brain, why? Okay, I make the whole situation a lot worse than it really is. The thing happened, noting can be done. My almost non-existent relationship with that certain classmate won’t change. I’m just going to live my everyday life like before the ‘accident’. And I’m going to hope Eren plans the same.

I take a deep breath, step in and mutter my quiet ‘hello’ to the people who are already here. Some of them greet me, others don’t pay attention. A usual beginning of the day. Good. As I walk to my place in the back of the room I look around. No, I don’t look for Eren. Not at all. It would be so out of character.  Still, when my eyes catch messy brown hair and green irises my stomach does a backflip. God save me. He watches me as well and for a few seconds we keep eye-contact. Then he averts his gaze with a slight, almost unnoticeable blush on his face, but I continue to observe him. His whole attitude is so different from when we met in the changing room. It’s not like he was relaxed and calm back then, but now he seems to be more tense and reserved. He obviously doesn’t like being here. I wonder what his true personality is like. Maybe he’s actually a good company. But then why doesn’t he have any friends? Are people really that prejudiced? I’m sure if he didn’t wear those out-of-fashion clothes and glasses, he would be popular. I would even say handso-

“Are you alright?” a deep voice surprises me. I realize that I’ve already reached my place and must’ve been spacing out. Erwin, who saved me from a dangerous territory of thoughts, looks at me with a concerned face. His thick eyebrows are knitted and there’s a glint in his blue eyes that I don’t like at all.

“Sure” is my short answer as I sit down.

“Sure” he repeats sarcastically and I feel like tearing out his perfect blonde hair.

“I just… had a little… disagreement with mom” I can’t come up with a better idea. “But it’s nothing serious.”

He smiles softly, visibly reassured.

“Okay then.”

I just nod. For one last time I search Eren with my eyes, then remind myself of my plan to continue my everyday life and not to make things more difficult. Yeah, I’m going to do that. I can handle this situation.

 

* * *

I was wrong because I forgot something really important: there are people in my life who like to refer at themselves as my friends. It wouldn’t be a problem, but they also tend to take advantage of their position, and that’s not always good for me.

It’s Wednesday, one and a half week passed since the ‘shower-accident’ as I like to call it in myself. Now everything is settled, I can look at Eren without remembering his naked body, which is good news since I look at him quite often these days. It’s not like I want to, he’s just everywhere. God punishes me for not noticing him in the past years, I’m sure. But apart from that life goes as it always did.

So on this blessed day after my last class I head towards the parking lot with Erwin and Hange, another friend of mine, by my side. Erwin, as the only child in a newly rich family, already has his own car, and he offered to take us home, which we accepted of course. But there’s something strange in the air. Like they would try to keep something in secret. As we sit silently in the car it becomes worse and worse. Erwin glances at me even now and then instead of watching the road, and Hange constantly fidgets on the backseat but says nothing, which is pretty abnormal because usually she just can’t shut up. To solve the problem I switch on the radio. For a short time we listen to some shitty pop song but then Erwin reaches out and turns down the volume.

“Okay, I’m just asking it” he says and looks at me for a spilt second again. “What’s going on between you and Eren?”

“Wha-”

“Erwin!” Hange leans forward between our seats. “I wanted to blackmail him with this in the perfect moment! You ruined my plans!”

“And you ruined my eardrums. Now sit back to your ass if you don’t want to ruin my nerves as well” I tell her any try to push her back with no avail.

“I asked something” the blonde at the wheel reminds me. Like I would forget a question like that.

“Yeah, something stupid.”

He rolls his eyes. “Hange noticed it too, so it’s not that stupid.”

“You should know that 90% of the things Hange notices don’t exist.”

“Hey!”

For me the conversation is over, thank you very much. I turn my head to stare out of the window. The weather is awful today, grey and cloudy, but it isn’t raining. Why makes Erwin’s question me so upset? There’s nothing between me and Eren.  We don’t even talk to each other, I don’t know anything about him. And I’d like to believe that I don’t even want to change this.

“I’m still waiting for an answer” Erwin speaks again. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing. Are you satisfied now?”

“No, I’m not” his voice is annoyingly calm. I show him my most unamused face. “Levi, you looked at him in the past few days more than in all these years. Both Hange and I saw it. There’s no point in denying it.”

“That’s bullshit, you imagine things” as the words leave my mouth I feel a bit guilty because of lying to my friends, but I don’t want to talk about this, about Eren. I couldn’t tell why though.

“Leviiiiiii~!” Yes, of course Hange has to join too. I groan loudly.

“There is nothing – I repeat – _nothing_ going on between me and Eren Jaeger” I state, and I pray that this time the information reaches their brains.

“Then what happened?” Erwin breaks all my hopes into million little pieces, and that’s it, that’s the limit of my patience.

“Jesus fucking Christ, couldn’t you just stop and drop this topic?”

“So something did happen.”

I take some deep breaths because I don’t want to yell with him. Having a fight over this would be ridiculous. So they won’t leave me alone, huh?

“Okay” I practically sigh. “One Friday I met him after running. He had a scar on his face so I lent him my first-aid kit. And I just realized that I don’t really know him, which is weird since he’s my classmate. That’s all.”

My friends listen in silence, and I think that they actually believe what I said. Well, it’s the truth after all. Just not the whole story, but –

“You leave something out” Hange says as a matter of fact and this is the point when I begin to scream and pull my hair in mind.

“No, I don-”

“Where did you meet him?”

“Changing room” maybe it’s easier if I just answer. Who knows anymore? The brunette leans into my personal sphere, a maniac smile spreading across her face.

“He saw you naked, and now you’re embarrassed.”

“No.”

She hums and chews her bottom lip as she tries to solve the mystery of the 21st century. Then her eyes go wide and so does her idiotic smile and I know I’m fucked, so fucked.

“ _You_ saw him naked.”

What she gets in return is humanity’s coldest glance but unfortunately she’s already developed immunity to it. What could I say? No, I didn’t? She’d know I’m lying, women have a sixth sense for that. Should I admit it? Then I would face endless questions and teasing, and that’s not too tempting either. So I do the best thing what can be done in a situation like this: keep my mouth shut. Maybe she won’t push it.

How naïve dreams I have here.

“Oh my god, you did!” When was the last time she was so excited? Oh, yes, when we watched that documentary about genetic engineering. (No, I didn’t enjoyed it or understand a word either.)

“What? Seriously?” Erwin turns towards me too, his expression is a mixture of disbelief and amusement.

“Watch the road, will you?”

He just chuckles and does what I asked for. He got what he wanted, so he’ll leave me in peace for now, and I’m grateful for that. However, getting rid of Hange isn’t so easy.

“Aaaaaaaaaaa~nd?” her voice gives me shivers. I look at her quizzically. What ‘and’? Haven’t I suffered enough? She realizes I don’t get what she wants. “Come on Levi, was he hot?”

I feel like hitting my head against the dashboard. I really do.

“I don’t know it’s not like I stared at him for hours.”

“So he was.”

Don’t ask me how she came to that conclusion. I don’t begin to argue with her though, because I don’t have the strength and because let’s be honest, Eren wasn’t that bad. I shouldn’t have such thoughts.

“Levi?” Hange again.

“Hm?”

“Do you have a crush on him?”

“Oh, look, that’s my home” I’ve never been so happy seeing the grey apartment building. Erwin slows down and stops before it. “It seems I have to go” I say, false sadness dripping from my voice. “Thanks for the ride Eyebrows. It was pleasant.” I practically escape from the car.

I’m already climbing the stairs to the 4th floor when I let Hange’s last question sink in. ‘Do you have a crush on him?’ I think of Eren. His unique eyes. The way he tends to bit his lower lip.  My cheeks become warm, but I convince myself that it’s just because of the stairs.

“No” I mutter. “I do not.”

 

* * *

“Why do we spend our Saturday afternoons together?” I don’t really expect an answer to my question, just watch as the words turn into small white cloudlets as they leave my mouth. Winter has officially arrived with chilly air and opalescent sky but no snow. Well, it’s kind of a good thing since it means there aren’t any snot-nosed kids playing ‘innocent’ snowball matches. Such thoughts are in my mind as I push my hands deeper in the pockets of my jacket and throw a side-glance at Erwin, who sits next to me. His usually perfect hair is wind-swept and his cheeks, ears and nose are a bit red from the cold. I guess I’m not in any better shape. Maybe we should have gone somewhere else instead of ‘our bench at the lake’, which is - according to the map at the gate - in the middle of the park.

“Because” Erwin says slowly “we’re two boys who don’t want to stay home for all the weekend and we’re friends and have nothing better to do. And we haven’t found our significant others who we could spend our time with” he stops for a second and I feel what’s coming – and it doesn’t makes me happy. “Although you…”

“No.”

“Okay.”

We keep watching the dark lake in silence. A little girl with her mother comes and feeds the ducks. Lovely. After a couple of minutes they leave. The park is kind of empty today, there are only a few people who walk through it to shorten their way and some lovey-dovey couples. And of course we are here.

I look at Erwin again who seems to be lost in his thoughts. He has a small smile on his lips. In moments like these I honestly don’t understand why nobody goes out with him. He’s smart, nice, handsome and rich, the embodiment of the concept ‘perfect’. If he’s still single, what chances do I have with my under-average height and grumpy mood? Are we going to get old like this? I can clearly picture the two old men sitting on this exact bench, staring at this exact lake. It makes me frown. Then I think of something what has been on my mind in the past days. Who else could I talk with about it, if not with Erwin? However, I’m not sure if I want to talk about it in the first place. But maybe I should.

Like he could read my mind, Erwin turns his head towards me and catches me staring. I don’t look away just observe his unreadable expression and he does the same.

“I’m listening” he says eventually.

I face the lake again and let out a long sigh. Okay, it’s time to be a man Levi.

“What if…” it’s so hard to say. I swallow and try again. “What if I like him?”

“Eren?”

“No, I’m talking about Uncle Kenny” I roll my eyes. “Eren, of course.”

“You like him?”

“I don’t know” is my honest answer. In these two weeks I noticed some of his habits which I find cute, and I can’t say he isn’t good-looking, but I don’t know him very well.

“If you don’t even know whether you like him or not, there’s no point in thinking about ‘what if’-s.”

I can’t fight back a snort. “Thanks for the wise advice. It helped. A lot.”

“You wanted to hear my opinion, here it is” he shrugs.

Silence falls on us again, and there’s nothing that stops my thoughts to wander around a certain brunet and what Erwin just said. How the hell could I find out if I like Eren? Is there a book? Does Google really know everything? If there’s something I can’t stand it’s uncertainty, especially when I’m the one who suffers from it.

I put my elbows on my knees and lean forwards a bit.

“You know” I start to speak “I thought it’ll be over fast. I mean… Yeah, I knew that it’ll be awkward at the beginning, and I won’t be able to look at Eren the same way as before, but… He just seems to be everywhere, always in front of my eyes, and sometimes I catch myself wonder if he likes this or that, or what he does… And then I feel stupid, because why should I care about these things?  And I wish I’d know him better, but I’m also afraid of getting to know him, and it just sucks. And I don’t want to think about this whole mess anymore, because it’s just a waste of time, there’s nothing sure, and nothing will change. It’s just something that exists only in my head and drives me crazy. But I can’t… I can’t forget him.”

When I finish ranting and run out of breath I look at my blonde friend, who smiles at me. It’s that kind of smile which proud fathers have when they look at their little boys. Creepy.

“I think” he pats me on the shoulder “we can begin to wonder about ‘what if’-s.”

He sounds sincere - and happy for some reason. When I understand what he means I can’t help but become embarrassed. Thank god my cheeks are already red because of the cold weather, so my blush isn’t so prominent. I want to deny it, say that I still don’t know how I feel, but there’s no reason for that. Deep inside I have to agree with Erwin. Honestly, I’m glad he’s here for me. I’m glad he listened and said those words. So in the end I just show him my own crooked half-smile and nod slowly.

“Yeah. Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd really like to know your opinion, so if you feel like writing a comment, please don't hold yourself back! :)


	3. A good night...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has an interesting dream, visits old friends and gets to know something that doesn't make him too happy.
> 
> "I lie back on my bed. Yeah, that’s what I need, spending some time with those idiots to get rid of my embarrassing thoughts and feelings. And here we are, Eren is on my mind again. Those beautiful eyes and full lips, that body, pictures from my dream… "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally the 3rd chapter which isn't the last because I have no self-control. Things begin to happen. So yeah. Have fun!! :)

I step into my room and close the door behind myself. Something is not okay. Well, nothing’s wrong, rather unusual but I can’t tell what it is. It’s already dark outside so the curtains are drawn and only the little lamp on my desk provides light. Everything is on its place, there’s tidiness and cleanliness, the way I like it. Then why do I have this weird feeling?

From the corner of my eye I notice a small movement and turn my head towards it immediately.

Eren sits on my bed, which confuses me because… was he here a second ago too? Why is he here in the first place? Then I slowly calm down. Right, we’re dating now, of course he’s in my room. It’s still hard to believe though, sometimes I wonder if it isn’t just a dream. None of us moves anymore as we watch each other silently. He’s only in boxers like back then in the changing room and in the dim light his skin seems to have a beautiful golden colour. He’s simply gorgeous and I can’t bring myself to look away, just let myself take in the sight instead. The selfish thought that he’s mine finds its way to my mind for a second, but I know it’s not true because no one can possess him. I’m as well only able to admire him, and that’s more than enough.

He observes me with a thoughtful expression, which makes me smile softly. He notices it but doesn’t return the gesture just tilts his head to the side slightly. I don’t know what’s on his mind, maybe I never will, but it doesn’t matter as long as we’re here for each other.

After a few more seconds Eren slowly stands up and walks to me with those careful steps he always has when his glasses aren’t on. I want to reach out and hold his hand, lead him, but my body stays completely still and I wait until he’s right in front of me. I have to look a bit upwards because of course he’s taller than me, but I don’t mind it. Those eyes are still able to take my breath away. And those lips too. The urge to feel, to taste them grows stronger and stronger as our noses touch and Eren puts his hands on my waist. My arms are wrapped around his shoulders, however, I can’t remember when I did this. I don’t even care to be honest.

The world stops when he finally kisses me. It’s slow and sweet at the beginning but quickly turns to messy and passionate. I feel dizzy and hot, and I should take a deep breath but there’s no way I let Eren go, so I fight against my needs and hold him even closer. His hands slip under my t-shirt and dance across my back. I shiver and moan into his mouth involuntarily, which makes Eren kiss me more feverishly. Oh god, it’s incredible and I can’t decide if I’m about to melt or burst into flames. This boy, this amazing creature tastes, smells, _feels_ so good I want more, more and even more.

We only part for a few seconds when Eren frees me from my t-shirt and throws it somewhere, then I’m pressed against the door and his mouth is on mine, our tongues exploring each other again. As I get more turned on my nails dig into his warm skin. He pulls away and for a second I’m afraid that I hurt him, but there’s no pain in his eyes, only lust. His face is just simply mesmerizing with that light pink blush and slightly parted, red lips. I already miss them even though my breathing is still erratic and comes out in little puffs, so I softly place my hand on his nape and try to pull him closer to me again. He doesn’t shows too much resistance but puts only a small peck on my lips, which makes me ready to complain. However, before I could utter a word he leaves hot, wet kisses down on my neck. My whole body shakes with pleasure as he continues this ‘treatment’ on my shoulders, collarbones, chest… I don’t hide the quiet sighs, moans and whimpers that escape from me.

“This is too good to be real”, that’s what I think when I feel Eren kissing my abs while fumbling with the button and zipper of my pants. I look down at the brunet, who’s already on his knees. From this angle he’s unbelievably cute as he glances up questioningly. There isn’t a single cell in my body that could reject him, so I just caress his soft brown hair and let the back of my head hit the door. My eyes fall closed when he pushes down my pants and underwear. Then he gently but firmly grabs my hips and excitement rushes through my veins. His hot breath tickles the skin on my thigh before he kisses it too, then a bit higher, and higher, and OH MY GO –

 

 

My eyes fly open and I sit up so fast that I almost fall off of my bed. Something lands on the floor with a knock, but I’m too scared, confused and, well, horny to care about it. For long seconds there’s only the loud sound of my heartbeat in my ear. A few deep breaths help me calm down (in my head. Down there everything stays the same…) I realize that I’m indeed in my room, alone, and I must’ve fallen asleep. Weird. I’ve never slept in the afternoon, not even in kindergarten. After a glance at the clock I get to know it’s 6 pm, which means I just took a two hour long nap. Definitely weird. And what the hell is with that dream? I have to shake my head, because, no, I don’t want to think about it, I don’t want to remember, I don’t want to… feel a bit disappointed because I’m actually not together with Eren? What?

Before I could go crazy I stand up to do something. Drawing the curtains seems to be a good idea. My knees are weak, but I try not to pay attention to this. Okay, curtains done, what’s next? I have to keep myself occupied. That’s when I notice a small green light flash up on the floor of the dark room. Oh, so it was my phone that knocked… and probably woke me up. I pick it up with still shaking hands and sit back on my bed. The light of the screen blinds me for a second but I slowly get used to it and open the new message.

**_Farlan 5:53 pm:_ **

_Get-together at Izzy’s on the 22 nd. bring Hange and Erwin too. we dont accept /no/ as answer_

I can’t fight back a smile. Izzy was my best childhood friend. A couple of years ago she moved to Shiganshina with her family, but we still keep contact. Farlan is her boyfriend, who she met there, and also a good friend of mine. I look forward to see them, so I write a short answer promising I’ll be there.

I lie back on my bed. Yeah, that’s what I need, spending some time with those idiots to get rid of my embarrassing thoughts and feelings. And here we are, Eren is on my mind again. Those beautiful eyes and full lips, that body, pictures from my dream… My jeans become uncomfortable again and my hands move to solve this problem on their own accord.

No.

No, I’m totally not going to do it. That would be too much for my conscience. I’d feel guilty.

However… Because of that dream I’ll feel guilty anyway, it doesn’t really matter now. It’ll just make me frustrated needlessly. Mom comes home only an hour later.

But still… Isn’t it complicated and awkward enough?

I argue with myself for some time but in the end I think ‘Fuck it!’, take a deep breath and unbutton my jeans.

* * *

Getting from Trost to Shiganshina by car takes approximately an hour. If you ask me, that’s the best distance, because it’s not long enough to get bored but you don’t feel like ‘Hey, the seat just warmed up under me!’  when you arrive either. I also like driving so I’m in a kind of good mood as we – Hange and I – are on our way to the small town. Erwin’s also coming, just a bit later because he has some family program. Of course I’d never admit it, but I feel excited. It was a long time ago when I saw Farlan and Isabel. It’s around 7 o’clock, the traffic isn’t horrible, the songs in the radio are quite good and for some reason Hange’s constant chatting doesn’t bother me too much. This has to be a good night.

“By the way, Kuchel is really nice for lending us the car” the brunette says in a cheerful tone.

“Yeah, she is” I nod and think back of my mother’s face as she made the conditions of the use of the vehicle. She knows I’m a good driver and wouldn’t make any stupidity but she was still a bit worried. Maybe that’s what a mother has to do.

Now the only noise is the soft humming of the radio, however Hange will surely find a topic to talk about in no time. So when she begins to speak again I’m not surprised. What makes me grip the wheel tighter is the thing she says.

“Erwin told me you like Eren.”

I’m wise enough not to answer this. I don’t have to, she’ll talk anyway. Note to self: say thank you to Erwin for the rude betrayal.

“I hope you were planning to tell this me too.” When I roll my eyes and nod Hange grins at me. “Oh Levi, I’m soooo happy! Who would’ve thought that such a grumpy midget like you will ever feel like this! I mean you were always so uninterested in other people, and when we talked about this topic you only shrugged. And now, look at you” for a few second she stays silent. When I glance at her coldly, because she could really choose her words better, I notice she has a proud, almost motherly expression on her face. Like Erwin did back then in the park. There’s something wrong with my friends.

“I think Eren likes you too” she says out of the blue.

“I think you’re wrong” I answer calmly.

“No, no, no!” I don’t look at her, but even from the corner of my eye I can see she shakes her head eagerly. “Levi, since you told us about what happened in the changing room I’ve watched him. I saw how he looks at you. And he does it more than you think.”

I try to ignore the butterflies that came with Hange’s words as I repeat: “You’re wrong. He doesn’t like me.” I don’t know why I am so convinced, but I just can’t imagine that someone like Eren would ever be interested in me. There’s simply no way.

“Okay. Let’s bet!”

“No.”

“I’ll get to know how he feels. If you’re right and Eren doesn’t like you I’ll buy you a box of tea you choose. If I win, then… I’ll decide that later. So?”

“No.”

“Oh, come on!” she pouts “For you it’s a win-win bet. You get either some fancy tea or the boy of your dreams!”

“He’s not the boy of my dreams” I mutter as a reflex, while I know he literally is. Hange just stares at me so I give up with a sigh. “Pixis’ Earl Grey.”

“What?”

“The tea I want” I explain. “And Hange,” I wait until I’m sure she listens “I hope you don’t plan to get to know how he feels by directly asking him.”

“Don’t worry Honey, I’ll find something out.”

After a couple of minutes she begins to talk about a film she watched recently.

 

When we arrive at Izzy’s house we stay in the car for a few minutes and call Erwin to ask where he is. It turns out our blond friend is already in the town so we wait outside until he gets to the house too ten minutes later. Together we walk to the door and I press the doorbell. Seconds pass, then a key turns in the lock and the door is swung open.

I’m dying.

No, seriously. I can’t breathe.

So my mouth curls into a smile and I hug Izzy as enthusiastically as she does me. Damn, I missed her so much. Eventually she releases me but as she looks me up and down her eyes shine happily. I have to admit she’s still as cute as I remembered.

“You’ve grown taller” finally she says with a huge grin. My smile drops and I pull up my eyebrows in an offended way.

“Way to ruin the mood Isabel. Where is Farlan?” I walk past her into the house. She just laughs and I look back over my shoulder and wink at her playfully. As the red haired girl greets Hange and Erwin I take off my shoes and get further in. We’re in a hall, on the right there’s three doors: Izzy’s parents’ room, a guestroom and a bathroom. In front of us are steps which lead upstairs to Izzy’s and her little sister’s room. On the left there’s a short corridor to the kitchen/dining-room/living-room. Well, it’s practically one huge space divided by counters. I’ve been in this house more than I could count, when we were younger I spent the most of my summer break here. Ah, those good old times…

“Hello stranger” a familiar voice brings me back to the present. A blond haired boy watches me from the kitchen with a mischievous expression, a bowl of popcorn in his hands. “Maybe I’m wrong, but I could swear I’ve seen your short figure somewhere earlier.”

“Okay, I’ve had enough. I arrived literally a minute ago, and you guys were able to make fun of my height twice” I show my index- and middle-finger to emphasize my point. “Yeah, I’m not the tallest over here, but who cares, really? What I lack in height I have it somewhere else anyway, so I can’t complain.”

“I know” Farlan, my blond friend shrugs.

“You know?” Isabel, who got into the kitchen meanwhile, asks his boyfriend. “Seriously?”

“Oh shit” he looks at me. “I think I just revealed our little secret.”

“I’ve seen this coming” I sigh playing along.

While Izzy’s whining ‘Ew, I imagined it’, ‘It burns my brain out’ and ‘Thanks guys, I can’t look at you the same way ever again’, Farlan greets Hange and shakes Erwin’s hand with a polite smile. Those two have never got on too well with each other, but for my and Izzy’s sake they try to tolerate the other’s company.

After that our little group heads toward the living-room through the kitchen. We’re not the first ones who arrive, there are already some teens who chat with each other and have fun. I recognize some of them as Isabel’s and Farlan’s classmate, however, their names remain mystery in the fog of my memories. I don’t really care, they surely don’t remember mine either, so there won’t be any awkward moments.

That’s when I hear a loud, joyful laughter coming from a corner of the room and turn my head in its direction by instinct. What can be so funny?

Messy brown hair and green eyes.

Oh my god.

It’s Eren.

My classmate Eren.

My a-bit-more-than-a-little-crush Eren.

He’s laughing, his eyes are shining, and he’s happy, happier than I’ve ever seen him. And it makes him more beautiful. I stare at him motionless and try to find out how is it even possible. A dream again?

I see in slow motion as he takes his eyes off of the blond boy in front of him and looks at me. His smile fades into an expression of surprise and confusion and he glances at Erwin and Hange too. When his eyes meet mine again pictures begin to fill my mind: Eren in the shower, in the changing room, in the school, in my dream… My chest is heavy from the huge mess of emotions I feel in this moment. There’s excitement, longing, maybe happiness, a little bit of fear, a touch of embarrassment, a hint of guilt and something warm and sweet I don’t even dare to name.

“-evi?”

“Huh?” I turn towards Hange like nothing happened, but she must’ve seen something because she follows my gaze. When she notices Eren her face lights up and she waves to him cheerfully. The poor boy only raises his hand insecurely, I bet he’d like to disappear at all cost. But Isabel decides to step next to him in this exact moment and of course the little scene between us doesn’t stay unnoticed.

“You know them?” she asks Eren.

“Um, yeah… we’re classmates” he replies quietly. Izzy looks at us, the question “Really?” written all over her face. So we confirm the information with a nod.

“So what you say is” she begins thoughtfully “that my favourite cousin and my good friend have gone to the same class since god knows when… and I don’t even know about it?”

“Your favourite cousin?” Eren’s voice follows mine like an echo. Two pair of green eyes look at me. “I-It just surprised me…” I defend myself and did I really stutter? Great Ackerman. Simply great.

“How can I be your favourite?” Eren addresses Izzy. “I am your _only_ cousin.”

And so they begin to bicker playfully. I listen to them quite amused until Farlan pats my shoulder and asks if I want to drink something. After I accept the offer we get into a pleasant conversation. There’s a lot to catch up since we really didn’t meet each other a long time ago.

The party goes on in a good mood and I don’t regret coming even for a second. When was the last time I felt this great? Sure, being with Erwin and Hange is nice too, but a little change sometimes is necessary. Eren’s presence makes me a bit embarrassed but it’s worth it, because he’s smiling and laughing, happy and relaxed. I’d sell my soul to see him like this every day.

Later some of the others decide to play truth or dare. I don’t feel like joining and after they make the “beverage” which has to be drunk if someone doesn’t answer or do the dare I firmly refuse to even go near to them. That glass contains beer, coke, ketchup, strawberry jam, salt, sugar, pepper, spit – yes, spit – and milk for fuck’s sake. Original home-made instant death. Farlan also chooses to stay out of this madness in favour of talking to me. We sit next to the counter and watch the bunch of idiots do ridiculous dares and tell awkward stories. I notice that my brunet crush doesn’t sits in their circle either. He’s in the other end of the room and shares the big couch with a blond boy and a raven-haired girl. Judging by how comfortably they chit-chat with each other he has to know them for a long time. Jealousy finds its way to my heart along with relief. Eren has friends.

I lost my sense of time as we move from one topic to the other with Farlan. I think I didn’t talk this much in the past 6 months. There are miracles in the world. But suddenly our conversation is interrupted by Hange’s voice.

“Leviii~! Truth or dare?”

“What?” I turn towards her confused, but then I understand the situation: there’s a gap between two girls and the bottle that they spin points right at this gap – or at me. “No.”

“But it’s your turn” she insist on.

“No. Just spin again. Problem solved” I shrug.

“Leviiii...”

“No.”

“You know I won’t give up” she says with an evil grin.

“I know you won’t but I hope you will and hope dies last. So go back to play and leave me alone.”

“Levi…”

I don’t say anything just turn back to Farlan and roll my eyes. He smiles back understandingly like the good friend he is.

“Levi.”

No, I won’t let Hange win this match.

“Levi.”

I ignore her.

“Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi, Levi…”

“Ugh, fine, just shut it!” Let me explain: I had to choose between my nerves and pride. And I chose my nerves. “What are you, eight?”

“Please” she shakes her head. “Six, in the best case.” I open my mouth to agree but she’s faster. “Anyway, truth or dare?”

I contemplate my options and after listing pros and cons I have to realize that there’s no better choice, she’s going to make me suffer. So I just sigh and pick dare. Let the hell begin.

“Hm” Hange’s expression turns to thoughtful, which surprises me. Doesn’t she have the perfect plan to ruin me yet? At least I get a few seconds to mentally prepare myself before a mischievous glint appears in those brown eyes. “I’ve heard…” Hange begins. Lord, have mercy on my soul. “…that you’re a good kisser.”

“Forget it” I state. “There’s absolutely no way I let any part of you close to my mouth.”

“Ew, Levi, no!” she grimaces. “I wouldn’t sacrifice our friendship for that.” What friendship? “No, I was thinking of someone else… For example…”

Honestly I have no motivation to kiss a complete stranger, or someone I met once but don’t even remember their name. Swapping a huge mass of germs with a person you may never see again is not fun if you ask me. In the second I decide to talk Hange out of this craziness she founds her other victim.

“Eren!”

I turn my head so fast towards the boy that the vertebrae in my neck crack. He’s just stepped back in the kitchen from the hall, where he’d called someone if the phone in his hand is anything to go by. Now he stares at the overjoyed Hange. I look back at the girl too, face uninterested, but my cold glare promises her more suffering than any words could. She can’t do this to my poor heart, which beats so loud that it’s a wonder no one notices it.

However, the brunette doesn’t get the message or doesn’t care, because she stands up and walks to the very confused Eren and drags him next to me.

“You’ve just hit the jackpot” she informs him, but it only makes Eren more lost. I want to stop her but I can’t find my voice. What could I say anyway? If I told Hange it’s stupid and I’m not doing it, Eren would think it’s because of him and I don’t want that. There’s nothing I’d like to do more than to kiss him, but not like this. Not in front of strangers. Not as a dare.

The best I can do is biting the inside of my mouth and trying to stay calm.

“You can kiss our one and only Levi” Hange’s happy voice sounds distant. I don’t show any reaction, even when I hear Eren ask an unsure “What?”

“It’s a dare” my (ex-)friend explains. Her words are followed by pure, unadulterated awkward silence. I gather all that little strength that’s left in me and look up, first at Hange then at Eren, but when our eyes meet I turn away.

“Thanks, but no” the boy says eventually. I feel relief but then it’s like a bubble would pop and disappointment fills my body. Because Eren didn’t only say no to a meaningless dare, he said no to _me_ , didn’t he? I knew he doesn’t think of me _that_ way, but it still hurt. Deep in my heart I hoped I was wrong.

“Excuse me?” Hange’s question brings me down to Earth.

“I said no, I won’t kiss Levi” Eren repeats and I notice the embarrassment in his voice. When I glance at him his cheeks are coloured slightly red, but his whole being radiates determination.

“But why?” Hange pouts and that’s when my voice returns to me.

“He said no, Hange” I say calmer than I feel.

“I heard that, but I don’t understand-”

I don’t wait until she finishes her sentence. “Maybe because he doesn’t want to. Because he’s shy. Because he’s not gay. Because he thinks I’m ugly. Who cares?” I even force a smile on my lips. “He said no, and this is the end of the story. It took longer than it should anyway. Now go back to play with those who actually want to.”

I know Hange wouldn’t like to give up so easily, but in the end she sighs and says okay.

“I want to get a hug before” she adds. I knit my eyebrows. “You still have to do a dare. This is it.”

I roll my eyes and groan but put my arms around her waist and let her crush my ribs. Over her shoulder I watch as Eren walks back to his friends on the couch while cleaning his glasses with the hem of his t-shirt.

After Hange finally releases me and goes back to the others, I sit down next to Farlan again and turn towards him. It seems he wants to say something but then he only smiles and asks: “Where were we?”

 

I try not to think about this scene too much, but my mood has definitely dropped and it can’t be helped anymore. I’m terribly thankful to Farlan for not mentioning it, and continuing the conversation like nothing happened. I’m just a bit sad because it was going to be such a great night. But oh well. After a while Erwin joins us too, and for a change he and Farlan act like they don’t hate each other so much.

Slowly everybody gets bored of truth or dare and looks for other sources of fun. I excuse myself and go to the bathroom. When I return I find Hange in the kitchen with that glass of ‘thing’ in her hand which no one had to drink in the end. I keep my eyes on it as Hange steps next to me.

“You aren’t angry at me, are you?” there’s real worry in her voice.

“No, I’m not” I answer frankly. There are stronger emotions in my heart right now.

“Good” she sighs relieved. “I didn’t mean to…” the sentence stays unfinished, but I think I understand. “Are you… alright?”

“Yeah, sure” I shrug nonchalantly. “I’m going to get a box of fine tea after all.”

Hange observes me quietly with a sad smile. If it was a film, this would be a kind of touching moment I think.

And then everything happens so fast.

Just as I begin to move past Hange, someone bumps into her and she loses her balance. The next thing I know is that the right side of my head and neck is covered with something wet. The mixture of beer, coke, ketchup, strawberry jam, milk and spices trails down on my skin, under my shirt. My brain helpfully reminds me that someone also spat in it. I shudder.

I’ve never fainted in my life, but now I wish I would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! As always, I'm eager to know your opinion!


	4. Going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One problem gets solved, so Levi causes another. But he decides to correct his mistake at all costs.
> 
> "The traffic is almost non-existent, the radio hums softly, and I chew the inside of my mouth until I taste blood. There are a lot of things to say, it’s the perfect time to talk about them, yet I have no idea how to begin. I’m not good at this, and what if I say something stupid again, and everything will be only worse, and… Jesus, Levi, calm the fuck down. I glance at Eren from the corner of my eye. He looks out of the window thoughtfully, completely unaware of my struggles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand the final chapter!! I wanted to post it 3 days ago but... life had other plans. Anyway, here you go, enjoy the last part of this little story! :)  
> (My English isn't perfect, it'll never be, so there can be mistakes. If you notice any, feel free to point it out :) )

Izzy offered me to take a shower in her bathroom, put my ruined shirt in the laundry and gave me one of Farlan’s t-shirts. I accepted it without hesitation, because I needed to get rid of that disgusting liquid on my skin and in my hair, and I also wanted to be alone a bit.

 

So now I let the hot water burn my body and I wish it could wash away my emotions and feelings too. It would be so easy letting the plug-hole swallow all the disappointment and tiredness. But life isn’t like this, I can’t clear my mind and heart with shower gel.

I remember when Hange broke up with her first boyfriend, Sawney, she cried for a day and wasn’t herself for weeks. I didn’t understand. Why the big fuss if it’s already over? It’s not like he was the only guy on this planet. I had my share of break-ups too, but I’ve never spent days sitting in my bed, eating ice-cream and watching sad movies. But now I think maybe Hange reacted normal and I dated the wrong people, because for the first time in my life it hurts to lose someone. Someone who never belonged to me.

I tell myself that I slowly but surely will solve this whole Eren-problem, but then it hits me that there’s nothing to solve. He doesn’t like me, it’s the end of the story. I should just stop thinking and get over it. We didn’t have any kind of deeper relationship, so it won’t be that hard.

Still, when I finally turn the water off and step out of the shower my head is full with that certain boy. It’s surprising how low I can get. I mean I feel so miserable that I don’t even cry, throw a tantrum or get angry. I want to be angry. I _should_ be angry. Hange spilled a glass of radioactive rubbish on me for heaven’s sake, and I haven’t yelled with her yet. But I can’t gather the strength to get dressed, go downstairs and give her a piece of my mind. I just stand in the middle of the little bathroom as naked as I was born, observe the pattern of the tiles and think of how soft this small orange rug is under my feet. Izzy likes this colour. Farlan told me when they go shopping clothes the girl always spends hours to choose those shades which suit her red hair. It’s lively and radiates energy like she does. I think I like orange too, not wearing it, just the feeling it gives. I wonder if Eren likes…

I shake my head. Levi, you should get dressed before someone-

Walks into the bathroom without knocking? Forget it, that’s just happened.

Eren stands on the doorstep, right hand still on the doorknob, and he stares at me. While his eyes run up and down on my naked body his cheeks turn cherry red. When he finally meets my gaze he seems to be as shocked as I feel. His Adam’s apple bobs and his lips part but not even a single sound leaves them.

I… I don’t even know what’s happening. My brain short-circuits itself, my breathing stops and maybe my heartbeat too. I can’t tell if I’m blushing or turn pale.

Finally he steps back and closes the door. I’m alone again but stay motionless. If I felt embarrassed when he was the one who didn’t have any clothes on, I don’t know how to describe my state now. I want to curl up in a corner and never see any human being again. It’s just too much.

And then I have the urge to laugh. Yeah, I went crazy in five seconds, but honestly this is r-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s. The old man over there in heaven hates me with burning passion, there’s no other explanation.

Compared to my earlier actions I put on my clothes and Farlan’s t-shirt quite quickly. The best thing I can do is to go home, lie down in my comfortable and safe bed, have a good sleep and pretend this never happened. Okay, it sounds like I’ve just had a bad one night stand. Who cares, the point is, the sooner I leave, the better for me.

I hang the towel I used on the towel rail, check myself in the mirror for the last time and step out into Izzy’s room. Where Eren waits, probably for me. He sits on his cousin’s bed, a book in his hands, looking at me. Those eyes are haunting me. Before I could take a step he begins to speak.

“I, uh, I’m sorry for… bothering you?” he gestures towards the bathroom. “I didn’t hear you.” It takes me a couple of seconds to realize I should say something.

“No, it’s… I… you… I…” Put yourself together, you idiot. I take a deep breath and try again. “No problem... I never said sorry for … “bothering” you back then, so I guess we’re even now.”

“Yeah” he chuckles and looks down at his feet, blushing a bit. He’s adorable. I know I have to stop thinking this, but I can’t. Not yet. I watch him for a while then slowly walk to the door, and I’m about to open it when Eren’s voice makes me turn back again.

“Levi…” this is the first time I hear him saying my name, and it’s… it’s indescribable. Those two syllables never sounded so good. “I… I’m also sorry for earlier.” I don’t really understand what he’s talking about. When he notices this he quickly adds: “For the dare-thing.”

A sound which is somewhere between a groan and a sigh leaves my mouth. I still don’t understand what he’s exactly sorry for, but it doesn’t matter because there’s nothing he could’ve changed in that situation.

“Don’t be” a tired smile appears on my face. “It was just Hange’s stupid idea to torture me. Sometimes she can be…” I’m searching for the best word but Eren nods before I find it.

“I know. I’m her classmate too. But…” now he’s the one looking for the best way to express himself. “What I wanted to say is that… So I don’t want you to think it was because of you. I mean…” he swallows and wipes his palms in his jeans. “I didn’t say no because she told me to kiss _you_. I… I just… So I’ve never… I’ve never kissed before” at this point he’s a cute blushing mess, who’s not able to look at me. “And, you see… I want my first kiss to be special… Not a dare.”

In mind I’m screaming like a 10 years old girl while my face is as calm as ever. Did he just say what I think he said? Oh my god. Is there a chance he actually… I don’t even dare to think of it. It can’t be true. But I’m 97.6% sure it’s not a dream.

No, I have to see clear. For my sanity.

“Okay” I say. “Listen, Eren, I have to ask something. It’ll be a ridiculous question, but… just answer frankly alright?”

The brunet looks back at me questioningly but nods. I feel my cheeks and neck warm up as I say the words like they’d be in a foreign language.

“Do you have a crush on me?”

In the silence I remember that I told Hange not to ask Eren directly about his feelings. Oh well. The situation has changed.

I’d like to say I wait patiently for his answer, but I’m a nervous wreck. My throat is dry, but my palms are cowered in sweat in return, and my knees may or may not shake. Eren on the other hand takes his sweet time. Come on, it’s not rocket-science, just a simple yes or no question.

Finally he raises his head, but doesn’t look right in my eyes.

“No” he says quietly. “I don’t have a crush on you.”

Oh shit. That hurt. At least I have no doubts.

“I’d say…” Eren continues and I look back at him pathetically hopeful. “… that I like you. Probably more than I should.”

“You sure as hell do” I utter the first words that come into my mind. Honestly if he’d said he thought of me as a friend, even that would’ve been more I’ve ever imagined. It’s just unbelievable, _impossible_ that somebody like Eren has such feelings for me. Of course he likes me more than he should, because I don’t deserve any of it. On the other hand, I’m so glad he does.

I’m so wrapped up in my own happiness that for a second I don’t notice how hurt Eren looks. After a momentary confusion I realize my mistake: because my poor choice of words he must think I don’t return his feelings. No, no, no. I’m not ruining this now. I just have to reassure him that he’s special for me.

“Eren, I meant to say -”

In this exact moment someone swings the door open, hitting me in the back in the process. I groan and rub the place where the doorknob collided with one of my ribs.

“Shiiit, I’m soo sorry Levi!” Isabel’s voice cracks because of the suppressed laughter. What a good friend, really. I wonder if she heard any of our conversation, but she seems to be totally unsuspecting. “Hey Eren” she smiles at her cousin. “Did you find the book?” While the brunet smiles back and shows her the object in his hand Farlan walks into the room too. Of course he does. When I want to talk to Eren alone everybody needs to come here.

“Levi, Erwin and Hange are leaving soon” the blond boy informs me. “I thought you probably wanted to say goodbye to them.”

“Uh, yeah, no, if they leave then I should as well -”

“Oh hell no” Isabel puts her hands on her hips. “You’re staying here for the night. I see you once in two-thousand years, so there’s no way I let you go so soon.”

“It’s not like I want to go” I defend myself. “But I don’t have -”

“Since my father is a dentist we have a huge pile of spare toothbrushes, if that’s what you’re worrying about. Your shirt is freshly washed, and once in a lifetime you can wear the same boxers for two days” I can’t help but frown at Izzy at this part, but she continues undisturbed. “And you can sleep in Farlan’s t-shirt. It looks good on you, by the way” she adds with a wink. I pull up an eyebrow. This t-shirt is at least a size too big for me if we want to be honest.

“Of course you can” nods the owner of the article of clothing. “I like when you wear my clothes anyway.”

“When did he wear any of your…” Isabel turns to Farlan with a questioning face, but then she notices the other’s grin. “No, not again! I don’t want this kind of jokes!” When she manages to erase the image of me and his boyfriend of her mind she looks at me again. “Anyway, you’re staying.”

I just sigh. “Okay, okay. Then I go and say a tearful farewell to the guys.” Before I leave the room I glance at Eren. He doesn’t looks back at me. I need to talk to him later by any means.

When I get downstairs Hange and Erwin are already pulling up their shoes. As the blond one notices my presence he smiles at me.

“Got bored of moping?” he asks.

“I wasn’t moping. I took a shower.” To my voice Hange turns around and stares at me with eyes full of worry.

“A shower never takes you this long” Erwin says as a matter of fact.

“Farlan and Izzy caught me” I shrug. “By the way, they force me to stay the night, so you have to give Hange a lift.”

“I know, Isabel told me earlier” he nods and we shake hands as a goodbye. Then I step in front of Hange.

“I’m sorry?” she tries with a nervous smile. Why does everybody around me have to apologize suddenly? I roll my eyes and then open my arms to give her a hug. I don’t feel like being angry right now. She throws herself on me and nearly suffocates me with her embrace, but this time I don’t protest.

“You should begin to think about what you want” I whisper in her ear “since you won our little bet.”

She chuckles and holds me more tightly, but doesn’t make a big scene of her excitement, and I can’t be thankful enough for this. When I release her both she and Erwin have that parental expression on their face that creeps me out.

Eventually they leave, and so do most of the other guests too. After a glance at my phone I get to know it’s already 3 am. We’re all gathered in the living-room and Izzy lets us know the plan. First she turns to two girls, one of them is the black haired girl who I saw with Eren earlier, and the other is a blonde with cold blue eyes.

“Mikasa, Annie, you can have my sisters room, just don’t make a mess, because Irene will tear off my head if any of her property gets damaged.”

“We’ll try our best” the raven girl says quietly, and I have the impression that Isabel’s warning was actually unnecessary, they wouldn’t have done anything anyway.

“Thanks” our hostess smiles. “Eren, I prepared the guestroom for you.” Her cousin nods and then she finally looks at me. “Levi, you’ll sleep here on the couch. You’re always the first one to wake up, and this way you don’t have to be afraid of disturbing the others.”

“Okay” right after I accept her decision Eren speaks again.

“But then maybe I should sleep here” he talks to Isabel, not to me. “I leave in the morning, so probably I’ll be up earlier.”

The red haired girl looks at me and thinks for a few seconds before she shakes her head. “No way. You’ll be fine in the guestroom Sweetheart.” She pats Eren’s shoulder and goes to gather the bedding for us.

After receiving our blankets and pillows, Mikasa and Annie head upstairs and Eren disappears in his room. While I prepare the couch, I talk to Isabel quietly. Now on a second thought we didn’t really had a conversation during the night. It’s a good feeling that no matter how much time passes between our meetings, we can always understand each other. Farlan only listens to us silently. In the end, when Izzy can’t fight back the urge to yawn in every other minute anymore, we say our goodnights and they go upstairs too. I check my phone for the last time (Erwin texted me that both he and Hange got home in one piece) and make myself comfortable on the couch. Let’s just say, I don’t need a lullaby to fall asleep quickly.

 

 

Like always, Isabel had right. When I wake up around half past eight the house is still silent. For some time I lie in, but eventually I get up and after a visit in the bathroom I begin to make some tea. Until the water boils up, I tidy up the couch, take on my shirt and jeans and put Farlan’s t-shirt in the laundry. And now – now come the long moments of silence. Unfortunately I’m not that kind of guy who can keep his nose pressed against his phone all day, so I get pretty bored in a short time. It’s not like I don’t like being alone – it’s the opposite, I love it – but it’s different being alone at home and somewhere else. So as I hear a door opening and some footsteps, I perk up immediately. Eren must’ve woken up. This thought makes me stupidly excited, but I gave up fighting against these things a long time ago. I wait for him to walk into the kitchen, but the next sound that reaches me is the closing of the bathroom door. Oh well. I still want to talk to him, and there probably won’t be a better chance than now, so I slowly get up from the chair I was sitting on and go to the hall.

However, all my plans get ruined when I see Izzy walking down on the steps. She wears an orange robe over her pyjamas, her hair, which isn’t tied in pigtails like usually, is a mess of red locks.

“Morning” she says when she reaches me and stretches. “Jesus, you’re already dressed up?” Before I could answer she continues “Want to have breakfast?”

“Yeah, it sounds good. I’ve made tea, by the way.”

“I should’ve guessed” she chuckles right when Eren steps out from the bathroom. “Morning, Sweetie” the girl greets him.

“Good morning” the brunet smiles back, although his happy expression fades a bit as he looks at me. I know from personal experience that it sucks to think the guy you like doesn’t return your feelings. How much I want to let him know the truth! But even if God doesn’t hates me as much as I thought, he likes to mess with me, and he’s too mean to grant me with two fucking minutes alone with Eren.

“Do you have breakfast with us?” Izzy asks him while I get lost in my thoughts.

Eren shakes his head. “My bus comes in 15 minutes, and I still have to walk to the bus stop.”

“And you can’t go with the next one?”

“It comes an hour later, and Mom asked me to be home before lunch. I know she wouldn’t be angry, but I promised to go home in time and help her around the house today.”

“I see” Isabel nods understandingly, but she’s visibly crestfallen. The two of them obviously has a good relationship, and I guess they can’t meet as much as they would like. Another thing I can understand, my situation is the same after all, and if I didn’t come by car, I should probably take the bus as well. In that case I could go together with Eren though…

Hold on for a second.

I could… I can…

“I can take you home” I don’t realize I said it out loud until both Izzy and Eren look at me surprised. “We go to the same town, don’t we? And you could also have breakfast…” for some reason I get slightly nervous, so I add a quiet “If it’s okay for you, of course.”

“Uh, I don’t want to bother…”

“It’s okay for him” Isabel declares. “Thanks, Levi. Now let’s make breakfast” with that she drags me back to the kitchen. A few seconds later Eren follows us.

I can’t really describe this breakfast. It’s good to joke around with Izzy and be close to Eren, on the other hand this unsolved misunderstanding makes it a bit awkward. Eren offers to let the others know the food is ready, but according to Izzy they’ll probably sleep until noon and it wouldn’t be nice to wake them up, so only the three of us eat together. I can’t tell whether Izzy notices my and Eren’s odd behaviour, if she does, she hides it very well.

After breakfast we get ready to leave and I begin to feel… nervous? Excited? Isabel makes a long speech about keeping contact with her, visiting Shiganshina a bit more often, taking care of each other and so on. Before saying our goodbyes she gives us rib-crushing hugs, first Eren then me. When she steps back she makes a small gesture towards his cousin, winks at me and whispers “Good luck”. As I stare blankly back at her I just hope that this warm sensation at the tip of my ears isn’t a blush.

The air is fresh but freezing outside so it takes a huge amount of self-control from me not to sprint to the car. (Because why should I put on my jacket if the vehicle is right in front of the house, right?). I sit behind the wheel while Eren throws his bag on the backseat and takes the passenger seat. We wave to Isabel, who stands at the door, for the last time. When she steps back into the building and disappears from our view, reality hits me: I’m about to spend a whole hour alone with Eren in a small car. Dear Lord… My hands shake as I fasten the seatbelt.

“Let’s go then” I say and after Eren nods we get going.

The traffic is almost non-existent, the radio hums softly, and I chew the inside of my mouth until I taste blood. There are a lot of things to say, it’s the perfect time to talk about them, yet I have no idea how to begin. I’m not good at this, and what if I say something stupid again, and everything will be only worse, and… Jesus, Levi, calm the fuck down. I glance at Eren from the corner of my eye. He looks out of the window thoughtfully, completely unaware of my struggles. He likes me. And I made him believe that his feelings are unrequited. Guilt fills my chest, because I whine about being afraid of talking, while he’s the one who suffers more from this situation. I just have to open my mouth, aren’t I? It can’t be that hard. There must be a topic which we can have a conversation about.

“So” I clear my throat. “You’re Izzy’s cousin.” Lame, I know, but my brain always leaves me in the most important moments.

“Uh, yeah” he answers, and for a second it seems this is the end of our talk, but after a while he adds: “Is that really so surprising?”

“Well, I just… I know both of you for a while, and I haven’t even guessed” I shrug. “You see, when Izzy still lived in Trost we spent the most of the time together, but I don’t remember meeting you back then.” In the moment these words leave my mouth I regret them, because what if Eren was actually there, and I just hurt his feelings again?

“That’s because we moved to Trost when Izzy and her family moved to Shiganshina.”

“Oh” my grip on the wheel loosens a bit as I understand I didn’t say something rude. “It must’ve been bad though. Thinking that you’re going to be close to your favourite cousin, and then it turns out you aren’t.”

“No, it was planned like this” he shakes his head. I look at him confused for a second, and when he sees it he takes a deep breath to explain it. “The house here in Shiganshina was ours, and the flat where we live in Trost was the home of Izzy’s family. But when Irene was born they realized that they need a bigger house, so after Mom found a job in Trost we swapped place.” There’s something in his voice what makes my heart twist in an uncomfortable way. Then I suddenly understand.

“You preferred living in Shiganshina, right?”

“Yeah, but…” I hear him swallowing. “It’s not like we could maintain such a big house after… after Dad passed away, so it doesn’t really matter.”

My heart stops for a second, only to begin beating again painfully. I feel guilty again.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know about your father.”

“No problem. It happened years ago anyway.”

However, I sense the bitterness in his voice. This loss still makes him sad, probably will until the end of his life. And I can’t help him. I guess this conversation died, and in the end I really just made the situation worse, but right when I give up Eren speaks again.

“Sometimes I wonder how we would live, if we’d stayed in Shiganshina and Dad had been with us. Mom shouldn’t have to work so hard and wouldn’t be so tired… I could go to the same class with my friends… We shouldn’t always wear second-hand clothes… I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t be like this…” he lets out a broken little chuckle. “I’m sorry, forget it. I shouldn’t say such things.”

“No, it’s okay-”

“No it isn’t” we look into each other’s eyes, and I understand that I really can’t help him, regardless of what I say, and he knows it. And he doesn’t want me to get stressed over it or pity him, the only thing he really wants me to forget it. So I turn my attention back to the road and we continue our journey in silence.

I just wanted to tell him that I like him too.

I wouldn’t like to end our story like this.

And suddenly I have an idea. I check the time on the radio – it’s around 11 o’clock, and we’re somewhere midway to Trost. There’s still a plenty of time. At the next exit I leave the motorway. I don’t know if Eren has ever seen that place before, but it’s beautiful, so it worth the little detour.

“Where do we go?” asks the brunet after a while.

I just smile confusing him even more. Soon we reach the forest, and after ten minutes of winding on a serpentine road we arrive at a parking lot. I get out of the car and head towards the wooden stairs leading further up the hill. Eren follows me, the expression on his face questioning my sanity. Another five minutes later we reach the top of the hill.

“It looks better in the autumn, when the leaves begin to change colour, but it’s not bad like this either, is it?” I say gesturing towards the valley in front of us. Eren doesn’t answer, just takes in the sight: the winter forest, the little village in the valley, the blue sky. I’ve seen it for hundreds of times, so now I keep my eyes on the boy instead of the scenery. He has a soft smile on those perfect lips and a mysterious spark in his unique eyes. It seems I did something good after all.

“It’s really beautiful” Eren admits and turns towards me. “But why are we here?”

Really, why? Why did I bring him here? I wanted to cheer him up. I wanted to show him something I like, a piece of me. I wanted to let him know how I feel. But how do I tell him all of these? Are these the real reasons? I look at him, and say the simplest but most honest answer.

“You said you wanted your first kiss to be special.”

His eyes widen and he blushes as I step closer to him, but he doesn’t utter a word, even when I slowly put my arms around his shoulders. Any other time I would rather die than stand on my tiptoes, but now I do it by instinct. Our noses touch and I feel his breath caressing my lips, but right before I could kiss him he finds his voice. He doesn’t pulls away, just whispers the words into the tiny space between our mouths.

“I… I’ve never done this before, a-and I don’t know h-how…”

“Yeah, that’s the point of first kisses, you know” I laugh quietly, which makes his cheeks turn as red as tomatoes. Adorable. I can sense his nervousness though. “I stop, if you tell me to.”

He remains silent so I finally kiss him. It’s that innocent kind of first kiss, slow and sweet, only pressing our lips together, and it doesn’t last too long. But if you ask me, it was perfect. I pull back enough to look at Eren’s face.

“Felt good?” I ask and he just smiles back shyly. I notice only now that his hands are on my waist – I have no idea when he put them there, but I can’t complain. We stand like this for a while, watching each other, feeling complete and happy. I observe his facial features like I would like to remember every little part to draw it later, even though I have little to no talent in that field. But he’s just so gorgeous. Especially his eyes, one and a half is green, and the inner half of the left is amber.

“You probably hear this a lot, but your eyes are amazing” I confess.

“Oh” Eren averts his gaze at this. “I’m not too fond of them” he mutters. “I know they’re unique, and they have a good shape, but without glasses I probably wouldn’t see your face properly even from this distance. And I don’t like things that are beautiful but useless.”

“Then I won’t say this anymore. I just wanted you to know that I like them… And not only your eyes. I… I like you, Eren.” Finally saying these words feels good, but it’s nothing compared to the feeling that fills my body when Eren smiles at me. It’s not a shy or sad one, but happy and open, and it’s because of me, and for me. Before I know, my lips are on his again, and this time our kiss lasts longer, and it’s a bit more rushed, a bit more excited, but just as sweet and perfect as the first one was.

After it ends I can’t even guess how much time we spend only stupidly grinning at each other. Eventually I slip my hand in his bigger and warmer one and pull him towards the wooden stairs.

“Come, I don’t want you to be late.”

“Someone wants to impress my mother?” he asks playfully.

I immediately stop. Jesus. I have to meet his mother? Already? Is she kind? Or she’ll hate me? What if she’s a strict Christian, and she’ll loathe me because of my sexuality, and I’ll never be able to see Eren again?

Eren laughs at me and my desperate expression. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to meet her yet.” As we begin to walk again he continues to talk. “She’s nice though, so you don’t have to be afraid of her. And she has already heard about you the most shocking thing a mother can hear about his son’s boyfriend.” When he sees my questioning and scared face he helps me out with a grin.

“She knows you’ve seen me naked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and all the kudos and comments guys! Your words always make me incredibly happy, and every time I write I just hope that I live up to your expectations.  
> This story turned out to be much longer than I planned, but oh well. I had fun. Did you too? :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!! I try to update the next part as soon as possible, but sometimes it takes weeks so................  
> Until that, feel free to share your opinion with me!! :)


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